Edmond made a little favorites icon for me. He says you can bookmark the site and you'll get that little checkerboard next to the name MetaGrrrl in your favorites list in Internet Explorer, Mozilla and, uh, Konqueror. Neat!
But it's not as neat as the program he's working on now. You are gonna love it...
Recharging My Batteries 2001
For the first time in a long time, I will not be going to San Francisco this weekend. I am tired from events of the last two weeks (laying someone off, getting sick twice, restructuring several relationships, worrying about my grandfather (who is doing better, thank you for asking), dealing with a project mired in the client's internal politics).
So. It just seems like its a good idea not to go anywhere or try to do much of anything.
I have a company holiday dinner to attend tomorrow night, otherwise I am without obligations. Ahhhh...
Non-obligations: finishing re-reading The Stand (why do I turn to favorite old disaster stories when stressed? Maybe just because my problems don't seem like such a big deal compared to the plague), keep working on this site, sort out some old papers, watch some movies, do a little laundry.
I do wish I owned a hot tub. That's just what the doctor ordered.... Dr. Happy Lazydaze, that is.
Equal Rights? Yeah, right. 2001
The Bush administration has announced its commitment to improving the lives of the women of Afghanistan, which is, of course, a noble goal and would be even more impressive if it had announced its commitment to improving the lives of women anywhere else.
Good Porn 2001
I've said it before and I'll say it again: the most beautiful, intelligent, rock-hard hot porn site on the web is David K's Nightcharm. Unfortunately for the rest of us, its target audience is gay men and there just don't seem to be equally excellent companion sites for other preferences. Maybe if this whole recession thing throws my current plans in the dumpster I'll see about changing that. In the meantime, I'll find what common ground I can and enjoy the excellent writing in articles like "Rose & Thorn: Notes on Porn". [Warning: if you are not a homophile or comfortable with explicit language & images, better not follow that link... hmm, and while I'm finding URLs, I must remember to read this later: "Why We Scare Straight Men"]
A Little Less All At Once 2001
Too much is going on right now. I want to reserve energy for my family and for myself and moving just seems like an exhausting thing to add to my to-do list this month. I've decided to defer the move until February, maybe March. This will also give Edmond some time to work out his options, so it's a good thing all around. Don't worry, San Francisco, I'm coming, I just need to take a little extra time so I don't arrive in a state of shock. (The commute will be shock enough methinks).
This doesn't mean if you happen to hear of a great apartment that meets all my needs that I don't want to hear about it. If things go well, I may be able to swing a month or two of double rent to secure an absolutely perfect place. My big requirement is no upstairs neighbors. The rest of the wishlist is a couple posts back (I'll link later - I'm pooped!)
New Equilibrium? 2001
Well, my grandfather is now on a higher level of oxygen intake and it seems to be helping him. We're all hoping this will let him live more comfortably for a while longer. He does better in the evenings - I just kissed him good night and he was comfortably sitting up against some pillows in bed, reading the paper looks almost normal except for the oxygen line to his nose. I'll stick around until midday tomorrow and see if he continues to do well. We all know this is a temporary reprive since he is, after all, an 86 year old man with some heart trouble, but we're glad to have a little more time to enjoy his company.
Don't miss that chance to tell people you love that you love them. I am so fortunate to have the family and friends I do. Mahir had the right idea: I kiss you!!!
Topsy Turvy Month 2001
I'm away for a few days at my parents' place helping out. My grandfather is having a rough time of it and so I want to be on hand to make things as easy as possible for my grandparents and my folks.
Not sure when I'll be back, but when the weather is clear, we're able to get the phone line working so I can check email.
Stay well everyone and don't OD on turkey leftovers. :)
Making The Leap 2001
Well, I'm going to do it. I'm going to move to San Francisco. My plan is to get a place up there starting in January sometime (ideally getting access to the new place between the 2nd & the 7th, so I can overlap getting in up there & cleaning up down here in Mountain View).
I will miss my comfortable, spacious, clean home here and my fabulous housemate Edmond, but The City is under my skin and I want to be there - even in the rainiest month of the year.
I'm looking for a 500+ sq. ft., top floor studio or 1 bedroom (though of course I wouldn't say no to a cheap enough 2 bedroom that was nice!) in a well-made older building (not one of these cheapass SOMA lofts built on landfill!) preferably in Hayes Valley, Chinatown/Nob Hill, Potrero or Noe Valley. I'll still be working in Santa Clara, so I need to live somewhere within 30 minutes walking or reliable public transit distance from the CalTrain. I can go up to $1200/month rent and have an incredibly attractive rental resume (I have great credit and used to be the apartment manager for a 37 unit building, so landlords like me!). I hope to find a place I really like and can stay in for at least several years.
If you know of a good place or good resources to find one or good neighborhoods to walk around looking for window signs in, let me know!
Hooray For Chaos! 2001
I'm just having too much fun converting to Movable Type. Ben & Mena are like unto Gods!
I know there are broken links all over the place, but I was just able to import the most recent 1000 posts from Blogger almost effortlessly and that's good enough for me to go live in this half-assed state.
I'll be working on it a lot today & tomorrow since I'm still sick (sort of fevery, achy, mildly snuffly-nosed sort of thing) and I hope to get rid of most of the kinks. The Eclectic Encyclopedia and Dinah sections will take longer to fix, since they weren't Blogger blogs, but I'll get there.
Whee! New toys!
And once again, I must say I could not have gotten this far without Jay's patient assistance. Thanks! I am reading the fine manual (and again praising Ben & Mena to the skies).
Feeling Better, Not Spiffy, But Better 2001
Thanks for all the little instant messages with well wishes. I'm getting there, slowly but surely.
If things look wacky here today, it's because I'm working on importing all my old blogger posts into Movable Type. Yes, clearly I've gone mad in my fever, but it'll all be worth it for comments!
What Was My Brain Thinking? 2001
How'd it get to be after 2am?! Oh, that's right, I slept until 1pm. 13 hour day, not so weird. At least I'm finally sleepy.
Happy Thanksgiving, my friends. Thanks for visiting me. Enjoy this lovely, totally pure holiday; celebrate good food, friends, family. No religious or nationalistic or military or commercial connotations with this one, folks. Have a great day!
Oh, and give the shopping a miss on Friday, eh? Make something instead of buying something. Take a walk instead of driving. Write instead of watching t.v. Create instead of consuming.
Kurosawa fans? 2001
Anyone want to join me for this next Wednesday?
Wednesday November 28, 6:00 p.m.
POLITICS AND PASSION
Akira Kurosawa's controversial 1946 drama "No Regrets for Our Youth" tells the story of the daughter of a liberal Kyoto law professor as she is thrust into the political and social turmoil of the years leading into World War II. Miryam Sas, Assistant Professor of East Asian Languages and Cultures at UC Berkeley, introduces the film. Presented by the Japan Society. World Affairs Council, 312 Sutter St., 2nd Floor, San Francisco. $10. For more information call 415/986-4383.
One For Edmond 2001
Sick Little Monkey 2001
I'm not well (as evidenced by the fact I just spent 14 or 15 hours in bed and amassed a large pile of used tissues during the time I wasn't snoring like a freight train) and I'm not sure when I'll be able to get up the coast to see my family for Thanksgiving. Today, though, I'm not worrying about that; I'm just trying to get well.
The cure for my terrible itching turned out to be detox gel. I was very disappointed it was not blue, but at least I didn't have to get a boob job or collagen-enhanced lips to get through the scene. (Uh, and though easy to cure, it was a bit contagious, so if you've had close contact with me or borrowed my clothes in the last 2-8 weeks and suddenly start getting little red bumps and mysterious itching, get in touch & I'll give you the low-down).
Now I've got a head-cold. This is so not the way I wanted this month to go, but at least all my philosophical whining has been chucked out the window in the face of real discomfort. That's my new tagline: "Still grumbling, but at least it's not about relationships!"
Code Library 2001
I used to write more code. Just scripting, nothing too impressive, but I liked it. The Code Library has a couple of my favorite pieces.
#1 An example of an outrageously complex page I wrote. It's called The Postcard Exercise.
Yes. I have cats who are friends of mine. They are called Oban, Edradour and Tomintoul. Someday the stern of heart may view pictures of them here.
* Professor Barry Burnham, St. David's University College, Lampeter, Wales, in lecture 1985
** The Macmillan Treasury of Spices & Natural Flavorings p.31, Jennifer Mulherin 1988
I Left My Heart... 2001
I've been thinking and talking a lot about moving to San Francisco. I spend as much time there as I can and I love it. The problems are that I have a really comfortable living situation in Mountain View now and I work in Santa Clara. If I could teleport my home (along with cool housemate & good neighbors on either side) to SF, I would, but so far that solution seems unavailable. Damn pity, because if I could do that, I could probably also teleport to & from work each day which is a darn sight more attractive than the alternatives.
So I dither. "Too expensive, too much hassle, too long a commute, would have to move into a smaller place" but "love The City, could walk more blocks anytime I want, nearer to more friends, feels like home, closer to family".
I go back and forth, but I will end up there. At Fray Day, I said to Derek "I'll be up here within two years" to which he replied "Ha! I give you one!". He's right. As it is, I feel the pull every day. The whole situation is summed up by this exchange:
A guest looks at the map of San Francisco on my wall while talking about the way to Krispy Kreme: "Oh, that's right. You don't have a map of your own city."
Me: "No, I do, I just don't live in my city."
I Want Busy 2001
Jeffrey says "When you work, the front of your mind pays attention to the problems you’re solving, which relieves the rest of your mind from focusing on the problems you can’t solve. And that’s why God gave us work." Lay those projects on me, boss; I've clearly got too much time to think.
Don't Scratch 2001
I woke up twice last night because I was so itchy. I don't like being itchy. It feels like poison oak or something, but there's no rash and I can't think when I would have been exposed. It's probably just stress. Good thing it's a short work week...
Early to Bed and Early to Rise... 2001
I went to bed around 9:30 last night and got to work this morning by 8am, a time in recent past more likely to be associated with the alarm clock than the office building alarm passcode.
So here I am.
No one else here. Quite possibly there will be no one else here for another hour. I guess I should get some work done, huh?
As a courtesy to Jason Shellen, I hereby offer to host all occurances of the word "shit" which he doesn't want to post on his domain, Shellen.com over here at MetaGrrrl.com instead. Shit, man, don't mention it; what are friends for?
In other news, after viewing Something About Mary, my mother sent me an email including the phrase "Hey, I'm fucking with you." Damn punkass parents; I blame the media.
Well, that did help 2001
Not only did I ride the bike, I also read Writing Down The Bones which I highly recommend to kickstart your brain and still the negative voices.
I was thinking that a big part of my frustration these days is that I'm not getting to fully commit myself to my true art. I'm a lover. I don't mean that just in the sexual sense; I mean my strongest creative passion is to give love and to get it in return. Now I can satisfy some of that just by loving the world and my friends and my family. That's good. But I long for more, for a true partner in this art. Aching for that drags me down, but I don't want to give up the goal of finding a lover with whom I share emotional connection, intellectual excitement, sexual compatibility, interests and dreams. It's not something you can just make happen. It's rare to find a simultaneous connection on a few of these, let alone all. So what's my path to stop wanting so much? My way to patience? I haven't found it yet, but it seems like it must be around here somewhere...
Two Steps Forward, One Step Back 2001
Made more progress on the new version of the site, but I didn't sleep well (unsettling, pointless dreams) and am feeling rather gloomy, so I'm going to go play games instead of working on this. First, though, I'm going to try riding my exercise bike for half an hour and see if that clears my mood a bit.
Content Dominatrix 2001
Wow. I'm impressed by Movable Type. I've spent the whole day working on creating MetaGrrrl 3.0 and have made lots of progress. I'm about 2/3rds of the way to being able to launch it, but probably weeks from getting all my content nicely contained in the new structure.
I wouldn't have gotten as far as I have without the help and encouragement from Jay. He's a good friend, especially when you're ready to give up. (One side-effect of moving up in your company is you may lose your web chops; I certainly have lost a lot and it's embarrassing and depressing. Jay, was right though, I can still do it, just maybe not on the first, or even the second try, but, hey, you know what? Third time lucky!)
No plans to go up to the city tomorrow (unless Meg and Judith say "Come up! Let's go to the Exploratorium!"), so I hope to launch the new version of the site, undoubtably with some oddities and broken links, by tomorrow night. And then -at last! - there'll be comments! Also the catsuit picture will be back which I know will please certain fans of my obvious status as a mammal. Now it's time to sleep the sleep of the just.
[tried to post this via Blogger at 1am last night, but it was on the blink; kinda ironic]